Britney and Howie Collide in Rehab

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Promises, promises: Britney Spears changes boyfriends about as often as hair-dos and dont’s. Apparently she is dating Howie Day after meeting the musician in rehab. Note to Howie: Make sure she wears her panties when you two go out and steer clear of Paris Hilton if you can.

Can you imagine group at Promises with a who’s who of celebs?

I hope Howie likes the Lakers otherwise he could be on his way out already.

Britney is reportedly taking Howie to her cousin’s wedding on June 2. Might be one hot karaoke night.

April 5, 2007. Britney Spears, Trainwreck. 3 comments.

The Return of Britney (to Rehab)

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After checking into rehab on Monday and checking out on Tuesday, Britney Spears is back in rehab.

One of Kevin Federline’s lawyers confirmed that Britney checked back into the Promises treatment facility. He also indicated that the emergency custody hearing over the couple’s two sons has been canceled. The lawyer went on to say this is Britney’s last chance, and if she leaves rehab before getting the full 30 to 45 days of treatment, Federline will immediately go to court and seek full custody of the children.  It’s also being reported that Federline has had the kids since last Thursday, and that Spears tried to visit the kids last night, but K-Fed wouldn’t let the Cajun Chanteusse into the house.

Maybe this is the wake-up call Britney needs, although her track record of rehab isn’t in her favor.  

February 22, 2007. Britney Spears, Rehab, Trainwreck. Leave a comment.

Britney Spears Is Bill Murray

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Britney Spears’ life is turning into Groundhog Day. In a disconcerting recreation of her shenanigans from last week, Britney left rehab again after less than 24 hours of “treatment.” She checked into the Promises treatment center yesterday, but once again, couldn’t handle it and left for home. She then reportedly tried to get another lame tattoo – perhaps the Tasmanian Devil – but was crestfallen to find the tattoo parlor closed.

February 21, 2007. Britney Spears, Rehab, Trainwreck. Leave a comment.

Britney Hits Rehab One More Time

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UPDATE: A new, interesting theory is floating around on the reason Britney recently shaved her locks. Extra reports that Kevin Federline threatened on Friday night to have Britney’s hair tested for drugs, so she got scared and shaved it off. So absurd it makes perfect sense.
 

SHOCKER! Britney Spears is giving rehab another try – perhaps this time she’ll stick around for longer than 24 hours. Sources say Spears checked into an in-patient facility in Los Angeles today after being pressured by family members. As you recall, she checked herself into a rehab facility last week, but checked out less than a day later. A rep for Britney told People:

“Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today. We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time.”

Will she make it longer than 24 hours this time around? Can she make it two days? A week? And did she bring her Carol Channing wig to rehab?

February 20, 2007. Britney Spears, Rehab, Trainwreck. Leave a comment.

Britney Spears: Bald and Batty

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UPDATE: You can now buy Britney Spears’ hair.  

Wow, talk about a public meltdown. A quick rundown of the past week or so of Britney’s life:

  • She was seen partying several nights in a row in NYC, including one night of swapping bikinis with a stripper.
  • Britney’s long-time assistant suddenly quits, citing Britney’s recent antics and claiming the Cajun Chanteuse is beyond help.
  • She checked into and out of rehab in less than 24 hours.
  • A freshly bald Britney gets some bad tattoos and breaks down in public.
  • She shows up at the Roxy on the Sunset Strip in a $2 dollar blonde wig for a birthday party, and then storms out 45 minutes after the DJ played her song, “Hit Me Baby One More Time.”

Expounding on the shaved head debacle, apparently upon arriving in L.A. after leaving an Antigua rehab clinic that she visited for less than 24 hours, Britney briefly saw her two sons before arriving at Esther’s Haircutting Studio in Tarzana, California where she proceeded to shave her head after every hairdresser at the salon refused perform the shaving.

Salon owner Esther Tognozzi :
“I tried to talk her out of it, but she said, ‘No I absolutely want it shaved off now.’ Afterwards she looked in the mirror and said with tears in her eyes, ‘Oh, my God, I shaved it all off. My mom is going to be so upset with me.’…She was just there in body and not really emotionally there.”

Britney reportedly left the salon at approximately 7:00 PM then “drove aimlessly around LA for 40 minutes” before arriving at Body and Soul Tattoo at 8:00 PM. The employees claimed Britney was “screaming and flipping out from the pain.”

Britney left the tattoo parlor at around 10:00 PM, returned home, and left shortly thereafter. Spears was reportedly seen at Cedar Sinai Medical Centre in Beverly Hills around 2 AM wearing a dark wig and begging the staff to “help me.” She left an hour later and returned home, although it is unknown if she received help from the hospital. Later in the day, Britney was seen poolside at West Hollywood’s chic Mondrian hotel

Finally, last night Britney Spears showed up at the Roxy on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip last night in a hideous blonde wig. A witness claims that while Britney was in the club, she “kept going to bathroom all the time, which was weird.”

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Our little lost girl might need some chicken soup for the soul.

February 19, 2007. Britney Spears, Rehab, Trainwreck. 9 comments.

Later for You, Brit’s Assistant

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Britney Spears’ long-time assistant, Felicia Culotta, is now her former long-time assistant. Ms. Culotta posted an email on a fan site. She doesn’t seem to approve of the Cajun Chanteusse’s recent hijinks.

“I cherish ALL the incredible opportuniti es that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding. There’s just so much you can do to help a person – I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say – You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!”

J. Popin ain’t from the South, so I don’t know what young FELICIA is talking about. But I sure can guess. Looks like Brit is a big ol’ bitch to those she employs. Then again, maybe FELICIA just likes to be scratched behind the ears.

As Britney would say, “Whatevah y’all!”

February 15, 2007. Britney Spears, Trainwreck. Leave a comment.

Link Nation

Ashley Olsen shows off her skivvies [The Superficial]

Britney Spears drunk, naked, and swapping bikinis [Egotastic]

Anna Nicole’s baby daddy #5 steps forward [D-Listed]

Michelle Ryan is the Bionic Woman [Popoholic]

Sharon Stone is a nutjob [IDontLikeYouInThatWay]

Celeb plastic surgery clearing house [CityRag]

February 13, 2007. Anna Nicole Smith, Ashley Olsen, Britney Spears, Michelle Ryan, Plastic Surgery, Sharon Stone, Trainwreck. Leave a comment.

Britney Orgies, Four Years Too Late

Four or five years ago, rumors of Britney Spears engaging in lesbian orgies would have been front page news. Everyone would be scouring the Internet for information and pictures, anything they could find that proved the rumors true.  Now the news it’s kind of sad and not at all sexy. Maybe nasty is a better word.

Insiders tell In Touch exclusively that the mother of two has been living a secret life of wild sex long before her marriage ended. Rap music producer Omar “Iceman” Sharif, who is a friend of Kevin’s, tells In Touch, “was into threesomes and girls.” He says Britney would often invite a bunch of girlfriends over to the couple’s house to party.

An insider who knows the couple well says that over the course of a night, Britney would often disappear into a bedroom with her girlfriends. “Sometimes it was three girls, and sometimes there were more like six,” the insider says. “I heard about her being with girls at least 20 times while they were married.”

A friend says that Kevin Federline plans to use tales of Britney’s secret sexual exploits and drug use in his battle for custody of their sons, Sean Preston, 17 months, and Jayden, 5 months. “She has told Kevin more than once that she is sexually attracted to women and men equally,” says the pal. “He wants to show that she’s not such an angel after all.”

Source: In Touch

[YOUTUBE=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S61Z1EYlhSE]

Back then it was scandalous and lascivious. Now it’s disconcerting.

February 7, 2007. Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, Sex, Trainwreck. 1 comment.

Damn, Jessica, Just Damn

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Jessica,

Why are you doing this? Why do you make yourself look like a demon? What’s with the hair? And the hideous makeup? You look like a tranny trainwreck. Can’t we go back to the halcyon days of “Dukes of Hazzard”? Why this? Why now?

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February 5, 2007. Jessica Simpson, Trainwreck. 4 comments.

Would you like hot sauce with K-Fed?

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You might have recently heard about some controversy surrounding K-Fed’s much-discussed Super Bowl commercial for Nationwide insurance. The deeply (and seemingly thin-skinned) offended fast-food community loudly protested the upcoming denigration of fast-food restaurant employment.

Now, one of the “victims” has pounced on the controversy faster than Star Jones on a chalupa. Taco Bell – the same fast food restaurant Federline said he wanted his kids to work at to understand what a “real job” was – has offered the insurance huckster/dancer/rapper/house-husband/breeder another gig: a job schlepping gorditas and taquitos at the Bell.

Open Letter to Kevin Federline from Taco Bell

Greg Creed President Taco Bell Corp. 17901 Von Karman Irvine, CA 92614
January 31, 2007
Mr. Kevin Federline
c/o Marilyn Lopez
FYI Public Relations
New York, NY 10023
Dear Mr. Federline,
First off, congratulations on your upcoming Super Bowl ad. We heard it’s generating a lot of talk, particularly about working in the fast food industry.
We know you respect those who work in our business. In fact, last year you said in an interview, “My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me. Period. My kids are going to work at Taco Bell.”
We’re flattered, but obviously they’re too young to work for us. So here’s our offer to you: Come work for us, just for a one hour shift. We’ll get you a uniform, a custom name tag and show you what a great place Taco Bell is to work. We’ll even reward customers who visit that restaurant with an order of our new Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquitos for free.
We encourage you to continue to “Think Outside the Bun” and hope you accept our tasty offer.
Sincerely,
Greg Creed
President
Taco Bell Corp.

Source: Defamer

Seriously, Kevin, you might want to consider it — bet they give you a bean burrito or two after your shift. Might even be able to stick some gorditas down your baggy pants when no one is looking. Run for the border, little buddy.

February 1, 2007. Kevin Federline, Trainwreck. 1 comment.

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